He took the phone to the next room, but she could still hear every word. His face relaxed, but turned to annoyance as his phone rang. You can trust me." She reached across the table and patted his hand. Instead, she flashed him an animated smile. It took everything Katie had to keep herself from ducking under the table to see what was crawling around down there, having way more fun than she was. Women, they date me for my money, but have no interest in accepting the real me. Mistaking her gasp as a reaction to him, Gru continued: "Come now, you know who I am. She gasped when she looked down and spotted an eye staring from the darkness. Did he have a cat? Stifled giggling floated from under the table. Something rubbery caressed Katie's ankle. Real shame that everyone on it slowly suffocated to death." "Yes! I was driving across, and thought, lightbulb! I can use my bubble cannon to encase the bridge in a giant sphere, then float it to my secret lair. Something brushed her leg underneath the table. "I hear you stole the Golden Gate Bridge," she said, interrupting him in hopes of drifting to something fun. He droned on about his cold mother and troubled childhood and precious feelings. Honestly, this supervillain was super disappointing. They made small talk as Katie picked at her meal. "Oh mister Gru, a real date? You're so old fashioned." "I thought we could eat before … getting down to business," said Gru. An expensive-looking meal waited on the table. They entered a luxurious dining room lined with the mounted heads of extinct animals. "You do flatter me," said Gru as he led her inside. His stick legs angled up to a lumpy torso, like somebody had filled a black sock with cottage cheese then swung it around until it bunched in one end. His beady eyes were topped with bushy eyebrows, which were the only hairs on an ovoid head that looked like it had been stomped on. From between them stuck a long, pointed nose. "And how could I resist a swipe right from the world's greatest villain?" said Katie. "I could not resist when your lovely profile repeatedly came up on my Tinder application." "Katie! It is a pleasure," he said in a nonspecific eastern European accent. Any other personal information that could reveal something about someone else.Please try to keep the following out of your posts even if they are included for purely satirical purposes (as the AutoMod flags them for doxxing which fills up our modmail) The sidebar has examples on how to do this.Įncouraging brigading or linking to brigading will get you banned. Make sure to tag posts with the spoiler tag and use the spoiler tag for comments. Posts along the lines of "X but with Y replaced" are considered low effort and may be removed. Posts that contain "For every upvote I will _" and other upvote begging posts will be removed as they are not copypasta and the posters will be banned This includes ninja-editing to make it look like cummy is saying something different than the OP post. Please label original content as or the commenters will spam about the source.Ĭopypasta which takes advantage of /u/CummyBot2000 in any way, shape or form is strictly prohibited and violators will be banned. Use "source" on RES to avoid stuff like linked "" and ""ĭo not add quotation blocks in your copypasta. Always copy a comment with formatting intact (This includes new lines and paragraph breaks). Use the search feature and enter a couple of keywords to see if anything comes up.Ĭopypasta should be accessible and easy to copy and paste without extra hassle. Sentences with clap emojis inserted in between are low effort and will be removed.Ĭheck if someone already posted it. The body of the self post should contain the pasta. Your title should be a quote from the pasta or the overall idea of what it represents. Please do not make the entirety of your copypasta your title with only a link to the source in the self post. r/CopypastaModmail - What goes on behind the scenes at /r/copypasta Hey chefs, check out our totally awesome rules and features right ⬇ below ⬇Ĭopy and paste content instead of just linking to it. r/navysealcopypasta - Copypasta Generals r/circlejerkcopypasta - Reddit Copypasta
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